Dear Phyllis Schlafly,

In light of attempts to rebrand the Republican party to women, and in the wake of the voting down the of Paycheck Fairness Act, I'd like to begin by telling you about myself. 

I am the young woman you spoke about. I am the woman whose paycheck your party has belittled. More than that though, I am the millennial status, twenty-something whose integrity you have compromised. 

I am a law student, and an activist. I am a community volunteer, and an engaged citizen. I also happen to be of an age where I may in the relatively near future be considering some sort of serious relationship. 

I'm writing to you today because, well: your op-ed in the Christian Post painted me as a fool. 

You made young women like myself look foolish. You made my friends and peers, who happen to be young men look petty and pretentious. 

You projected to the world, or at least the Christian Post-reading world that my intimate desires are based of the bank account of potential "mates." What was it that you said? Ah yes: "the influence of hypergamy, which means that women typically choose a mate (husband or boyfriend) who earns more than she does. Men don't have the same preference for a higher-earning mate." 

You said that "While women prefer to HAVE a higher-earning partner, men generally prefer to BE the higher-earning partner in a relationship…" 

You said that this was a "profound difference between the sexes" and that the "so-called pay gap" is necessary. You went so far as to say that "if a higher-earning man is not available, many women are more likely not to marry at all." After all, it's "simple arithmetic" that suggests that "half of women would be unable to find what they regard as a suitable mate."

I just wanted to say, Ms.Schlafy, that I feel bad for you. You perception of love as security is a little off base. I hope that your love and your life have been enriched by romance, and partnership, and humor - but from your article, it would seem that it has not. 

I am a twenty-something, and I am not in fact looking for a "mate." I am open to, but not desperately in search of a partner. Do you see the difference? 

What am I looking for? I am looking for someone who likes to drink fountain sodas, and read books aloud. I am looking for someone that will listen to country music and 80's hair metal with me. I am looking for someone that will challenge me to stick to my values, and push me to accomplish my goals. I am looking for someone I can laugh with, and have intellectual conversations with, and even play Harry Potter trivia games with. I am looking for someone who is confident and faithful. These are the characteristics of the man I would find to be a "suitable mate." These are the qualities that I would want to live out my days with. 

I am not looking for insurance, I am not looking for a higher-income earner. I am not looking for someone to pay my bills, or someone to give me an allowance. 

I am looking for someone who can respect and even admire my ambition, perhaps someone who would even be okay with being with a "higher-income earning" female… 

If you think that that "so called wage gap" is going to help me find a man, I dare ask you to think again. 

Sincerely, 

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